I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
