better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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