WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
