We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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