I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
