So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
