So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize