This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
