Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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