I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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