True but thats because hes a fetus.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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