Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
