If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
