You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
