they need to just BURY HIM!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
