you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize