Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
