The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
