everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
