You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
