You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize