I just saw a hot homeless man
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
