some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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