Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
