Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize