PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
