is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
