Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just google imaged poop.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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