If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
