No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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