he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
