His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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