ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
