his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
