do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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