didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
