Heybabeimwearingurpanties
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
