I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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