we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
