My underwear smells like fireworks.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
