I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
