my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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