The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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