There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
