how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
