i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
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