you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
