Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
