I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
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