So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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