R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She's the barista slut.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
