After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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