They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Please don't give away my fajitas
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
