I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
