A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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