so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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