Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize