Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
