Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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