Can i not drive my cunt home
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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