Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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