i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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