he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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