sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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