Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
this hospital has no fireball
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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