my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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