Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
